graphicPUSH joins the 9rules Network and your host takes his place among the wealthy, jet-setting elite. Expect more writing about my new fabulous life and less about this whole web-freelance-design nonsense.
Yes, the network. I have been granted access to the 9rules Network, an exclusive club for the blogging elite that flies its members to exotic locations around the world and throws members-only parties at a large Beverly Hills mansion. There are lots of massages, shrimp cocktails and VIP access, not to mention the fast cars, loose women and more lines of coke than the PlayBoy mansion circa 1984. I’m sure you’re familiar with other members: Bono, Paris Hilton, various Greek shipping heirs and even Greg Storey.
I’m currently writing this from my private jet on route to my private island home in St. Lucia. Although this Swedish massage women keeps rubbing my back too hard and my hand-fed kobe beef tenderloin is slightly overcooked, I’m going to try to tough it out and write something anyway.
So, yeah. 9rules. A conglomerate of sites covering web development, movies, sex and business. It seems every site is worth reading, which is frustrating because now that I have taken my place among the wealthy, jet-setting playboy elite, I have precious little time to read them because Nicole Richie is totally e-mailing me like every five minutes.
You’ll see two changes to this site. First, a small banner that indicates that I am 9rules awesome, and totally better than you. The second is my writing, which I guess has to be good from now on. Ugh, the pressure. To cattle-prod myself into producing better content, I have drafted my own Nine Rules for Better graphicPUSH Content. They are:
- You will write more business articles, and stop being so stingy with the knowledge you have acquired over the years.
- You will continue to publish once a week. Maybe more, and maybe not always on the same day, but once a week.
- You will write more book reviews. (This will, of course, require harassing publishers to send you free books.)
- You will not write about crap you don’t know about. Ajax? As far as you’re concerned, that’s still your favorite brand of dish-washing soap. XML? Trade the “X” for “HT” and we’re in business. Web 2.0? Trying to get find something there, but it’s hard to hear anything over the incessant buzz.
- You will never mention Paris Hilton in an article ever again. She is the sum of all evil and her foul wickedness is drawn from the unwitting souls who foolishly feed her insatiable publicity machine. It is better to cut off your right hand than write her cursed name.
- You will write more print-related articles. It is your friggin day job after all, so write something about Illustrator already.
- You will continue to write original content, not simply respond to others’ original content. We’re not thought-recycling robots here.
- You will release another set of free icons. People find these useful and they score well with the ladies.
- You will stop trying to be funny. You’re not.